It's past time we regained some of our pastimes...

The Joy of Touch and Togetherness in Family Traditions

Since I was an itty-bitty I loved a back-rub, a hair rub, a foot massage. I was joyous to snuggle into a crook of an arm or lay my head on a chest. Happy and healthy touch was doled out in my family like nickels in our poker games. Games were important in our family, they gathered and engaged us. They brought generations together with soaring competitive spirit and pride. And laughter. Even after I was in bed I remember the laughter filtering through the house, making me smile and have legit FOMO.

Lessons in Communication and Compassion

When I was young, perhaps just until double digits, my caretaking was that of a village; and to their credit, perhaps even more so to my mother’s (she hated being away from me), formed me a more dynamic human. For the first 10 years of my life I most certainly had more conversations with adults than children. I learned the value of vocabulary for effective communication, the necessity of math to have success in common errands like shopping at the grocery store or making bank deposit. I absorbed the nuance and repercussion of being (or not) a polite, thankful, engaging person. I learned a non-polar love language that consisted of words of endearment and embrace but also of acts of kindness and care.

Why does this beg any sort of dialogue? Because it is (going?) extinct.

I would prefer that our mothers, sisters, aunts, friends, loved ones, taught our children the loving and healthy way to care for each other and ourselves. With baths and masks, with braids and bows, with a warm towel out of the dryer or foot rub after a long day. With a walk in the woods, a quiet moment in the sun, a cast of a line; with thought, games, conversation and prayer.

The Neglect of Self-Care: A Reflection on Lost Priorities

I can’t help but notice that these lessons have been left to observational, passive teaching. We don’t care for each other in this way or we have forgotten or lost the priority of how to care for ourselves. I felt the gnawing absence in me for a long time as a young adult and overcompensated with substances, as many of us do; despite an upbringing that should have cemented good habits. Is this why the concept of ‘self-care’ has become a ‘talking’ point?

I’ve been told that my blog posts can be TLDR. And doesn’t that speak volumes? We aren’t willing to sit and read something for longer than 30-45 seconds. Let that sink in for a second. I’ll talk some more…

Reclaiming Our Pastimes in a Digital Age

When is the last time you purposely let your phone be away from your body? When is the last time you’ve seen an adolescent in public without their head down? Have you gone a day or a week or a month without checking or posting on some sort of social media? Have you ever had a road trip or a plane ride without supplying a tablet or phone to a child for their amusement? Have you ever asked a recent high school graduate to do basic math? I think that it’s time. I think it’s past time we regained some of our pastimes.

Time can open minds and hearts just as easily as it can close them. I suspect that we become so focused on providing for others, in planning for the future, in mitigating risk, in balancing work and life; in just getting through the damn day; we can sometimes forget that in order to care and love for others, we must care for and love ourselves.

### Embracing Privacy for Genuine Presence and Positive Participation

And perhaps most importantly, it should be done privately, undocumented, with a genuine desire to be more present and whole so that we can actively and positively participate in the real world.

I pray that you touch your feet to the grass, your toes in the sand, your hands in the dirt; keep your eyes to the horizon, your head in the clouds, your heart open to the sun and stars. See and experience humanity, hopefully with people you love. Remember to pause, take some deep breaths and take care or your body, soul and mind. Because when life moves this quickly, it’s easy to only focus on the next thing rather that exactly where you are at this very moment. That is most often what needs to be embraced, massaged, cared for, revived and revered.